1. Having to wash and blow-dry my hair every single morning. This is not vanity, but a stark reality of my life. The time spent on basic personal hygiene in general. Does Stephen King even take showers?
2. Emails, Google, Facebook, Youtube etc etc
3. The wrong font. Because novels just about write themselves once you’ve found the right one.
4. Living in the south of France
5. Dominique Strauss-Kahn – as well as Manitoba floods, American politics, Japanese car parts, African aid policies, British fashion, Syrian demonstrations, Pakistani double-cross and German polar bears.
6. Breaking for lunch, just when I’ve finished reading the newspapers and am ready to get down to it. Then afterwards I’m too sleepy to write.
7. Spider Solitaire
8. Reading other people’s books. Not only does it cut into my writing time, but they make me realize that the world doesn’t really need another novelist.
9. A messy desk. Clutter clouds creativity.
10. Rationalizing.
And I thought I would be able to do it, if I only had number 4.
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Love #s 3 and 7; own number 9, am a master of number 10, and boy do I wish I had a shot at number 4!
ReplyDeleteN° 10, aka Work Avoidance. I'm an expert at this. In fact, see? I'm doing it now....
ReplyDelete(sigh)
Bisouxxx Kitty
Ah yes, Spider Solitaire. But I always thought living in the South of France would HELP...but whereever I go, there I am. I think I would also add number 11: "Fear of actually completing something and having to risk showing it to someone."
ReplyDeleteMay I borrow eight of these reasons/excuses? (Don't have to do the blow-dry and, unfortunately, I also don't live in the south of France, although Marysville, Ohio comes real close. LOL!) Because, obviously, they are the only reasons why I'm not out doing book tours and signing my autograph right now. LOL
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Spider Solitaire!
Oh, please tell me about spider solitaire, and then I shall have yet another excuse not to write...
ReplyDeleteMy absolute favorite is #3. It's like if you have the right fountain pen, you can write forever. Otherwise, forget it. :)
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more! I am going through the exact same thing!
ReplyDeleteBreaking for lunch? That is the time when creative juices flow along with the wine and the scintillating conversation we literary types tend to have.
ReplyDeleteHow about 'not wanting it bad enough'?
ReplyDeleteMy good friend always zings me with this one when I moan about my lack of progress on certain things. Well, everything really.
She tells me that if I want to do something badly enough, that I'll do it.
I want to smack her! (but not badly enough, I guess).
*sigh*
ReplyDeleteThat's it. Just an empathetic *sigh*.
The only advice I can offer is on point (8) - try reading worse novels!
lol - word verification is 'workpot' ... even Blogger is laughing at us!
I believe #3, I do. I do.
ReplyDeleteAnd #8. After reading Anne Michaels' Fugitive Pieces I decided I didn't need to write a novel.
A few of your reasons are interferences that keep me from regular schedule of posting on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI love this. I'm stealing it and putting one up on my own blog. You're the best.
ReplyDeleteOh, you're good!
ReplyDeleteBruce I thought so too. Now I'm thinking I just need the perfect room, with a view over the garden.
ReplyDeleteds You made me laugh. As IF you have a problem wrting...
Kitty That's the trouble with blogging - it gets in the way of everything else. So I cut out blogging. And I still didn't write.
Bagman You know, I really wonder how much that has to do with it. It's way easier not to try, and therefore have a built-in excuse for not succeeding.
Susie Why am I not surprised? I just had a flash of us together in some funky NY café laptops open, playing Spider. So addictive.
Frances I would be doing you a grave disservice if I explained Spider Solitaire or told you how to get your own. It's THE biggest time-waster in the world. But there's always Google if you just can't contain your curiosity. Thanks for your visit!
Ginnie Yes!! I've always been in search of just the right pen, too. Have you ever rejected a book because of its font? That's important to us visual types.
Friko Talking at lunch??? What an idea. Actually we might talk about literary things if there was anything literary going on. Although maybe this is a cart-and-horse situation....
ReplyDeleteKath ZINGER!!!! Had I thought of this, there would have been no excuses #2 through #10. I am shamdfaced. It's true.
Wanda But you're not going to say which ones?? You seem so organized, so I'm betting #9 isn't one of them.
Richard!! I laughed out loud to see you here. Go ahead, steal it. I'll come and visit you now.
rosaria Not often enough! But thanks - and thanks for visiting me. :)
BB Thanks for the sigh - really. It was perfect. And I do sometimes read, if not bad novels, at least some not-very-good ones. And they do make me feel like I could do better than that.
ReplyDeleteRuth ! I know!!! It's totally true!! I spent a while yesterday changing some text I had written into various fonts, just waiting for the Aha! moment. After a while, I thought maybe I could actually try writing in that font...but it's more fun to just play. Jesus murphy.
I thought the problem was that the towels need folding just so and socks need putting into pairs but then I have never got as far as the font issue (which would clearly be a major one for me) because I can't find my desk.
ReplyDeleteI had a writer come to look at our holiday cottage as a place to write who said she really needed somewhere with no tv and no broadband and would I take out the tv and refuse to give her the access code. Then she didn't come after all because she couldn't afford to rent it until she had written her book...
This is going to sound soooo hypocritical considering I have not touched my own blog. BUT I have missed you! If you are not blogging because it's such a distraction please post a paragraph or two . . . a chapter, anything you have written,(for your book) to satiate my need to read something written by you.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of distractions: German polar bears? where?
xo Anita
At least you're honest.
ReplyDeleteI use work as an excuse. Example:
"My most fruitful hours are spent at the office. By the time I get home, I'm too damn tired to be creative."
Drinking wine is another one:
"I was planning to write something brilliant this evening, really work hard, but I had a glass of wine, then two and that 'was all she wrote' excuse the pun."
Oh yes I can relate to 2, 7 and 8.
ReplyDeleteSteven King has a wife to kick his ass and read his first drafts. Not to mention spearhead interventions when he was a card-carrying alcoholic for the first 10 years of his writing career--by his own accounting in "On Writing: a Memoir of the Craft," 10th Anniversary edition.
ReplyDeleteAnd you can't blame reading other writer's because, according to Stephen King, once again, "If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that."
Ha! Ha! Ha! But I can relate to the one about living in southern France getting in the way of completely the great Canadian novel!
That should read "...completing..."
ReplyDeleteElizabeth Of course, the list is endless. I forgot to add also that in the absence of the perfect writing room with a view of the garden, I cannot produce my finest work. And funnily enough, I too have laundry!
ReplyDeleteLaughed at your writer's story.
Anita my dear, I wish I had your email address. You have said the nicest things to me and I can't reply to you except here. I miss you blogging, too!! I will try and do better, just for you. Cross my heart.
Cali Girl That really made me laugh. If I drank wine or had a real job, I'd be using the same excuses. But actually, having a job is NOT an excuse. There's damn few who would have the energy to write after a hard day at the office.
Liz No. 2 is the bane of almost everybody's productive existence, I suspect.
Blogger is acting up today and won't let me leave comments with my usual log in. 'Anonymous' is really me, Deborah.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for the kind words. Of course I'm here haha I love reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteEach and every one - a perfectly good excuse all unto itself and alone. Oh..how I know this 'drill'!!!!
ReplyDelete:-)
Ms. Pliers To be completely honest, even if I had a wife like Stephen King's, I probably still wouldn't get to the last page. I just don't seem to be up to the task of spending hours pulling unwilling words out of my head. It's a vicious circle - if you don't write, it doesn't get easier, and the other way around!
ReplyDeleteRichard I'm flattered. In the best possible way. You don't represent my usual, um, demographic.
ReplyDeleteMarcie We're all in the same boat, which is somewhat reassuring but at the same time a bit depressing. There are support groups for people like us, right??
ReplyDelete...and perhaps the words "pressure of trying to write a bestseller" and the occupation of "eating croissants."
ReplyDeleteLaughed at the 'why men fancy tall women?' bit. I have to admit that I've been there myself, many, many moons ago. Went through one of my phases. Why? (scratches head). Nope, still no idea, other than they looked more glamorous. :-)
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.